purehell's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sucker punched

DECEMBER 22, 2006

*******************************

Mike and I have had a horrible week. Yesterday while at work i thought i would go insane with the constant battle within my mind over everything. I called him and told him that I couldnt keep functioning like this. He asked me to let him come to the office to talk to me.

About an hour later he came to see me and we had a long talk. He told me that Shauna has been calling him and texting him on a regular basis, but nothing at all like it once was. He said that she usually calls about once a week and that its usually to tell him something. He said that he would try to keep it short with her, but that he didnt tell me because he assumed it wasnt worth it since she was moving soon. He told me that it was usually about Boris and apparently she thought he would know what was wrong with him. I personally think that Shauna just uses that as an excuse to talk to Mike. Thats exactly how they began talking so much the last time. She always blamed it on needing someone to talk to about her marriage. Forget whos marriage she is ruining to do that, apparently nobody should be happy if shes not.

The point is, if Shauna wants to call Mike, she is going to call Mike. Shauna doesnt comprehend what it means to respect someone elses wishes, she will do what SHE wants to do. Period.

Why wouldnt she talk to her girlfriends ? Why talk to the husband of her girlfriend?
Does Mike really think her moving will keep her from continuing to call? Why would she stop calling just because shes in a different state?

Is he stupid? ...or does he just think i am?

Mike and I decided that the only way to heal the damage was to exclude her once again from our life. Mike decided this, and i was thankful to see that he was willing to offer that up as a way of showing me that our marriage was important. We didnt want the whole family to suffer like the last time, so we determined that we would exclude them, but not ignore them. We decided that if they were somewhere, or doing something that we were doing ...we wouldnt NOT go, or NOT do that just because they were....but that we wouldnt go out of our way to be with them or make plans specifically with them. I felt like this was a fair attempt on mikes part to show me that he wanted to do whatever would help the healing begin.

So......my mind is crazy again because I went to get my hair done this afternoon and when i saw nikki she came running up to me and said, "we just went to shauna's"

What the hell?

I felt like mike sucker punched me right in the gut. Mike said that he went to shauna's because Nikki asked. Uhm...ok, how about, "no nik...they are out of town"...????? Afterall, they were suppose to be gone anyway and Nik knew that. Mike said that he didnt expect them to be there. He said that he thought he would just humor nikki and show her that they were gone, but they werent so they just stopped by to say goodbye and show alex the haircut nikki just got. I just dont get it. I really dont. Why the hell would he go there after the conversation we had the previous night? Why the hell would shauna stop calling mike if she never suffers any consequences?? ....and for sure boris doesnt have a clue whats going on, especially since everything just seems peachy. Why do i always feel like such a fool. ************************************** SCROLL UP AND CLICK ON THE ARCHIVES (IN RED) TO READ ALL OTHER POSTING FOR THIS DIARY

- December 22, 2006

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries: