purehell's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My God, She's So Ugly I havent written in awhile. I guess because i just dont know what to say. Im still so full of pain and hurt and no matter how much Mike is trying to convince me that he loves me, i still cant get past the hurt. All the times i caught them and cried. He witnessed my pain, yet still continued to hurt me. I cant get past that. He wasnt there for me when i needed him the most. He chose her over my pain every time. I thought i married a man who would protect me, when in fact he was the one hurting me. I dont even understand why. I saw a new picture of her posted on her myspace. I looked at it and thought, "my God, she's so ugly". It's amazing how i thought she was pretty at one time. I guess that has alot to do with who i thought she was. Now that i know what she's really all about i can see the ugly so clearly now. So many of my friends who know of their affair tell me that it doesnt make sense. They all say she's so ugly and cant figure it out. I was always quick to justify Mike's thinking by telling them that she's sweet and it makes her pretty. But I cant do that anymore. She's not sweet. She's ugly inside too, only i didnt see it because she is good at what she does. All those years hearing her talk bad about everyone behind their back....and then treating them like her best friend to their face. Its all so obvious now. Why didnt i see that before? A guy i work with came up to me a couple of days ago and said he saw her. He goes, "man sharyn, she is U.G.L.Y! Why would Mike risk losing you for that?" For the first time, instead of bragging about how sweet she is, i said, "yeah...she sure is the ugliest person i know." I wasnt referring to her looks either. Anyway, i dont give a damn about her anymore. She can go to hell for all i care. What i need to figure out is what happens next. Mike has possibly found a place to live, which relieves some pressure. He comes home in 6 weeks. Im sure he'll find a way to see her....he says he has no interest and will never talk to her again but i dont believe much of anything he says anymore. If he does, then ill wish them both well and do the best i can with my life. I enrolled in school and will start classes in September and will continue to do all i can for ME. Until then I will do my best to take each day as it comes. 6:14 a.m. - May 11, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||