purehell's Diaryland Diary

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Revenge Not Needed

Last Friday night i went to a friends house to make some stamping projects. Normally this is an event that shauna hosts, but she has requested that some of her demonstraters branch out on their own, so they have. Kiley and Kandice now host these evenings and im fortunate enough to attend because shauna does not. Anyway, its always a bit uncomfortable for me because half the room knows shauna and occassionally her name is mentioned. I usually just stiffen up and keep my own nasty thoughts to myself and continue on with whatever project i happen to be working on. This past Friday though we began discussing a shower in honor of a mutual friend and attendee of this stamping night who have recently adopted 2 children. They are very excited and naturally she will be needing things for the kids before they are placed in her home. This woman, Dana, asked me if i wanted to see the pictures of the children. She took me into Kileys bedroom to show me on the computer. While in there she asked if i would go to the shower. I told her that i wasnt sure, but that i would definitely like to participate in the gift giving. Then she asked "why arent you and shauna friends?" ....What am i suppose to do??? Make up a story ?? For who?? Shauna's benefit? Mike's benefit? ...why the hell do i give a damn when for almost 2 years they didnt give a damn about me or my feelings????
Im not going to lie for them. I told her. I didnt elaborate, but i simply said, "because shauna and mike have been having an affair for almost 2 years, she is no friend of mine and apparently never was."

Dana's mouth dropped. I didnt mean to shock her, but really....what am i suppose to say? Once mike comes home and people begin to realize that we arent together, surely they are going to start asking why we're split anyway. What difference does it make.
Did they care when they were fucking ? Hell no....so why the hell should i care? Surely they should of thought about consequences to their actions. Did they think i was going to lie for them and protect their affair? I did that for so long and it just allowed them to continue.

It doesnt matter anyway, she'll deny it.

She posted another scripture quote on her myspace.
Romans 12:14
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse

I dont know why she thinks she's being persecuted, hell, she hasnt even taken accountability for her wrong doings. I certainly dont persecute her, i pity her.

I wonder if she has read all of the book of Romans?

Romans 13:9-10
For the commandments, �You shall not commit adultery,� �You shall not murder,� �You shall not steal,� �You shall not bear false witness,�[c] �You shall not covet,�[d] and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, �You shall love your neighbor as yourself.�[e] 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Shauna can spit bible quotes out all she wants to. It is not for me to judge her. I just dont think God can forgive her of something she truly isnt sorry for, which is exactly why i havent forgiven her. She isnt sorry and she doesnt even acknowledge any wrong doing. As far as she is concerned, "sharyn has just lost herself" ....yeah, im making it all up. She's so sick.

Obviously Mike is at least sorry. I can forgive him because he has come to me and confessed his wrong doings and told me everything as a way of repenting. I realize he didnt have to do that. God will forgive him too and knows that he is truly sorry.

There's a big difference between asking God to forgive you, and asking God to forgive you because you truly are sincerely sorry. She has shown no sorrow, in fact she has only been hateful. A 5 page letter of hate, judgement, and cruelty to the wife of her married lover.
Such a good christian woman.

I will continue to pray for her.

Romans 12:17-19
Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, �Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,� says the Lord.


People ask me all the time what ive done for revenge. Nothing. I dont need to. There was a time i thought about it, but its not worth it.

I like to sleep at night. I dont know how she does.

1:29 p.m. - May 22, 2007

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