purehell's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Time Will Tell So many things could be a coincidence, but im not as dumb as some (meaning THEM) might think i am. Im pretty sure they're communicating. If they're NOT communicating, then i realize this is how i will think from now on and its his own fault as a result of so many lies. If they ARE communicating, then i realize they always will. I have to keep reminding myself that in time i will know all that i need to know. He told me today that he is not interested in shauna in any way and that i will see. He just kept saying, "you'll see" .....im not sure what he meant by that. At first i had gotten the impression that he had something planned....a way to prove to me that he had no feelings or desire for shauna, but im not sure what he meant. Could i be falling into another trap? Do i really find myself believing him again, and if so...why should i ? What makes this time different? I need to be careful. I need to protect my heart from his lies again. I find myself easily believing him but when i run it through my mind I seem to think more clearly. I remind myself of all the deception and i get so angry all over again for almost buying his crap AGAIN. Nope...i need to toughen up. Im glad i told him that when he gets home we cant communicate. I agreed to church, bible study, and marriage counseling. That will be the only time we can talk. I realize this will be best for me and my heart. It will keep things in perspective and i cant be easily fooled into believing his lies like im finding myself doing again. If he truly is being honest now, ill never know it. So he can "you'll see" me all he wants, but action will be the only proof i will believe from now on. His words mean nothing. I will know all i need to know soon. p.s. His parents know and they're devastated. 11:44 p.m. - May 29, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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