purehell's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ding Dong....The Bitch is Gone Well, its been awhile since ive written. The best thing that i can report is the fact that the bitch has finally left town. She left last week and its so nice knowing i will never bump into her again. I have prayed so hard to be strong and not confront her while i had the opportunity to. Now that she is gone i can let go of some of the anger that was provoking me to confront her. I still consider writing her or calling her, but i am going to leave that up to Mike. Mike plans on getting in touch with Boris now that they are gone. He wanted to wait until they left town so that Shauna didnt retaliate in any way. Boris was here for a few days after Shauna left, and that would of been the perfect opportunity for mike to talk to him, but mike was scheduled for a class that prevented him from having the chance. Well, that...and also i think he is afraid. It wont be easy for him to tell Boris that he had been having an affair with his wife for almost 2 years, im sure. He is determined to do it though because he feels its the right thing to do, plus he knows boris already knows and feels he should at least apologise for it. It was so weird, about a week ago I had to take Mike to pick his car up at the transmission shop. I waited in the parking lot to make sure it would run okay and follow behind him until i knew all was good. While waiting in my car on the opposite side of the parking lot from where the shop parked his car, i see Boris pull up. I thought it odd that Boris was in the area, considering this transmission shop is on a road off of any main road....but what i thought was more strange was the fact that he pulled to the side, unrolled his passenger side window and yell out to mike with a big smile on his face. He said hi to mike as though nothing was wrong. I know Mike felt like an idiot smiling back and saying hi back to him....but he did and i guess he didnt know what else to do. Now why would Boris do that? Does Boris not care that his wife was in love with this man?? That his wife had an affair for 2 years with this man that he's grinning at?? Is boris really just a fool in denial, or does he just not love shauna enough to give a crap? ...very weird. I dont think ill ever figure boris out. I cant help but think shauna has convinced him that its not true. Anyway, Mike is back home. We celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary last Sunday. I still deal with a lot of hurt and pain, and some moments i just absolutely need to be by myself. I suffer so much emotionally and I imagine i will for a very long time. I often wonder how long i can feel this pain though. If im still feeling this way in a couple of years im afraid i will throw in the towel and call it quits. Im willing to try though, and i certainly dont share this pain with Mike often, i will suffer silently and see what happens. Each time i have thoughts that hurt my heart i try to push them aside, and i will continue to try to do that. We're still seeing the marriage counselor, and that helps. As long as i see Mike trying, i will continue to try too. If i see that change, I imagine i will consider other options. For now though, the bitch is gone. What a relief!! Definitely something to celebrate. Many of my friends who know Shauna have suggested we all have a "ding dong the bitch is gone" party. I dont think its necessary...im having my own lil party in my head and thats enough for me :) 11:36 a.m. - August 07, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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