purehell's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- breakdown I woke up this morning, showered and got dressed for church and then found myself crying my makeup off. I couldnt go. It hurts me so much to see HER there. I know she needs to be there, as well as myself...but i suffer slowly while I watch her singing and joining in worship with a huge grin on her face while i secretly hold the tears in because of all the pain she has brought to me. I listened to the service on the radio. It wasnt the same but the songs brought me strength and I somehow know that eventually i will heal and be ok. I just want it to happen NOW. Haven't i suffered enough already?? I cant wait for her to move so that i can handle this pain without having to see her face everywhere i go. I wonder if i'll ever love michael like i once did. It will never be the same again and i hate them for it. ************************************ SCROLL UP AND CLICK ON THE ARCHIVES (IN RED) TO READ MORE POSTINGS FOR THIS DIARY 5:38 p.m. - March 18, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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